Familiarity

   It's strange going back and reading my blog posts from the past.

   Fujimi has treated me much better than Azuma ever did. In a way, it feels like everything is almost more "real" than it was at Azuma. I feel like I drifted in and out of school at Azuma without really ever affecting anything; the principal didn't really like me, so that was probably a large part of it.

   At Fujimi, though, I'm really involved in the school life. I go to judo tournaments to cheer for the kids, I occasionally go to judo practice, I occasionally go to art club, I help with after-school English study, I enjoy going to the drinking parties the school has, and I have a lot of fun talking to the kids. I feel like I actually have an impact on people at Fujimi, for better or for worse, and it makes me feel like I fit in a lot more.

   That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when I see my old students from Azuma and they don't seem to care or try to avoid me, though.

   One difference still bothers me, though; the students at Azuma all had plastic nametags with their first and last names printed on them in readable kanji. The students at Fujimi don't have those; their last names are embroidered on their clothes, but some of them pick off the thread. It doesn't matter much anyway, since nobody seems to use last names at Fujimi!

   But it makes it a lot harder to learn their names when there's nothing to learn from. It really bothers me that I can't learn their names as easily as I did at Azuma.

   There are a bunch of students whose names I know because they're unique or I run into them a lot -- especially the kids in the judo club -- but in a school of around 700, that's not a lot. For every student I know well, there are at least 10 others I don't.

   So my new goal? To look up their official pictures and start learning their names. I should have done this a long time ago.

Respect

   Thanks to Azrael and his posts at Outpost Nine, one of the most well-known aspects of teaching in Japan is the kancho -- a "game" where kids shove their pointed index fingers up your ass.

   I have a bunch of problems with this on so many levels. It's always bothered me that the one thing everyone seems to know (and popularize) is this stupid game. It just exaggerates the lack of respect everyone has for ALTs, including the ALTs themselves!

   I'm not denying that it happens.

   I feel like the practice of being kanchoed is something that's more the ALT's fault than anything. Yes, it would be nice if students would stop doing it, and of course, it would be nice if teachers would discipline them. But they won't and they don't -- there's nothing that ALTs can do about that.

   On the other hand, ALTs are pretty much the only ones (playmates aside) that get kanchoed. This tells me that it's likely an issue with ALTs rather than the kids. The way I worded the first sentence of this paragraph should give you a hint about what I think the problem really is: ALTs are more like playmates than teachers.

   A lot of people who come over here want to be friends with the kids; I'm not denying that I don't feel that way, because I certainly do. My kids are all incredibly important to me and I enjoy talking and playing with them. At the same time, though, I'm a teacher, so there are certain lines that I have to establish.

   Those lines, ironically enough, weren't as firm at my old school, despite it having much stiffer discipline than Fujimi. I wasn't included with all of the teachers in the various parts of... being a teacher. Nobody discussed student problems with me or invited me out to school events like teachers at Fujimi do, so I always felt like an outsider. Naturally, I went to the group that would accept me: the students.

   I tried treating them like younger friends, though I had some basic boundaries set up -- especially in the last year, when I was getting stricter with students who wouldn't study.

   On the other hand, the teachers at Fujimi have been great. They've accepted me from square one, so I feel much more like a teacher. In a lot of ways, I was still a kid when I came to Japan; coming to Fujimi has made me more of an adult. I've had to mature a lot as a person to deal with the kids up here. I could have just been their friend, like I was at Azuma, but I'm not.

   I'm a teacher.

   I feel like other ALTs, who are less invested in the job or less mindful of what their job actually is (as opposed to what people say it is [that is, a human typewriter or class clown]), tend to joke around a lot more and stay in the "friend" or "funny guy" zone more than anything else. Once you drop down to the students' level, though, you're just one of the guys and they think it's "okay" to kancho you, or "okay" to use a certain level of politeness in speech to you.

   These things are all symptoms of a lack of respect. If they don't do it to the "real" teachers, then why are they doing it to you? What makes you different as a person?

   Why am I ranting about this now?

   I've gotten a lot closer to ALTs this year than ever before, and they all talk about being kanchoed. It really bothers me, because it's never been a real issue for me and I don't see why it should be for anyone who shows that they respect their own job.

   On the other hand, it could also be a problem stemming from a lack of communication; if, as an ALT, you cannot speak Japanese, the number of people you can talk to is very small. In addition to that, disfluency is seen as a sign of a lack of intelligence by most people; ALTs may be intelligent, but if Japanese people can't communicate with them fluently for whatever reason, there's a tendency to see them as not being intelligent -- or vice versa.

   So students, who can never really get a look at the "professional" side of the ALT, may begin to view him/her as more of a "funny pet" than anything.

   While you can screw with your pets, you can't screw with your teachers.

Local News

   I saw a tiny news headline on Google News about a truck accident in the city I live in that killed three teenaged girls. My heart was racing as I googled for a Japanese article with names...

   I'm relieved that the three girls who died were from other cities. I didn't know them. I was scared to death that they could have been girls I knew.

Birthday

   Yesterday was my birthday.

   Quarter of a century, yep.

   I had a simple plan; wake up around 5 to shower/clean the apartment a little, catch a ride at 6:40ish to go to the judo tournament and cheer for my judo girls in the prefecturals, then come home and do laundry or something. Nothing spectacular; I don't really celebrate birthdays. Not that there's anything to do out here. Or anyone to do it with.

   So I woke up around five, showered, cleaned, worked on the HTPC a bit more...

   Read on!

New Placement Differences

   Something that's constantly lingering at the back of my mind, even after a month here, is the nagging feeling that I'm not really getting any work done up here. At Azuma, I felt more like I was teaching, despite frustrations. I was proofing tests before they went out, checking tests when they came back, helping teach the textbook and deal with grammar questions...

   Now, though, it seems like I've taken a step back. Although I'm more accepted at Fujimi as a person, I'm not really being used much as a teacher, albeit an assistant. This comes with the job, though; ALTs generally can only do what the school wants them to do, however satisfying or unsatisfying it is.

   Read on!

Rainy Day Blues

   I went to bed last night (and woke up this morning) feeling the vibration of rain beating against the window that covers over half the wall my head rests next to. While I was falling asleep, I spent a bit of time thinking about all of the plans I had in place before I found out that I Had to move to my new school.

   So many of them have come off the tracks. Dieting, losing weight, studying Japanese... sleeping.

   Sigh.

Disappointing Replacement

   I've tried really hard not to be influenced by my first impression of my replacement, Judy.

   When she was going to move out to my apartment, I told her that I would meet her, show her around, take her to city hall to change her registered address, and help her buy all the important things she'd need. She said she'd be at the apartment around two, and I ended up waiting until seven. Not only was she not on time, but the guy who was driving her didn't have his cell phone on, so nobody could contact either of them.

   What were they doing? Buying a refrigerator and getting a USB dongle for mobile internet.

   Read on!

Rainy Odyssey

   I went down to the city yesterday morning to meet the new ALT, who's replacing me; she's new to Japan and doesn't know Japanese, so I wanted to do a few things to help her out -- things that our company had never bothered to do for me. I guess you could say that I felt obligated to help her since I'd never been helped and it sucked, despite me knowing some Japanese.

   Read on!

First Night in Fujimi

I'm in the new apartment and a bit sore after my first night of sleep here; I don't know if it's because of the harder floor, the moving, or the kendo last night. It was a very long day.

I ended up waking up around 8 yesterday morning, after about 5 hours of sleep. I spent all morning packing and cleaning, and cleaning, and cleaning. My Japanese teacher, an older woman, very kindly said she'd help me move, since everyone else ditched me. I was skeptical about our ability to put everything in her car, but somehow it worked out with two trips.

   Read on!